牟锺鸣父母致法官的信

牟锺鸣父母致法官的信 Oct. 6, 2012 To the Honorable Judge, As the parents of James Mou, we have been astounded and ashamed by his crime of murdering his own wife Hu Yating, our in-laws' daughter and our dear daughter-in-law. We know that no language can really appease and comfort her parents, and that no apology can make up the overwhelming loss of daughter to them. We would still make use of this opportunity to once more express our deepest regret and apology to our in-laws: we understand the pain and hate that keep tormenting them, and we share and sympathize with their anguish. We are very sad to say that last year, we were totally in the dark and thus could do nothing to prevent the tragedy from happening, and that will be our life long regret and grief. And in face of the family disaster, after repeated reflection, we are now determined to contribute the remainder of our life to the best benefits of the two poor boys, the common grandsons of the Mou and the Hu families. And as the parents of James, we also have some words to say to the Honorable Judge, not to defend him in any sense, but only to throw light on the process of how James, a hardworking and affectionate young man, should have committed such a crime. James was born in 1976. In his early childhood, because of one high fever, he contracted epilepsy. My wife and I, found in him an disobedient boy, something related with the disease. We couldn't change his mind once he had formed an idea and more often than not he did not tell us anything before his idea is realized. Nevertheless, in general, he was quite a social person among people surrounding him. In school and in the neighborhood we lived, he was usually thought as a clever and friendly boy of frank character. He liked sports and various games, and played basketball, bridge, and other games with as many groups of his classmates as possible, and made a lot of good friends. He was good at long distance running. He is always ready to help others. Particularly, when he was 18 years old, when he and his classmates went swimming in Eastern Lake of Wuhan, he ran the risk of his own life in an effort to save a drowning girl: at the time, the boyfriend of the girl and the elder brother of the girl were both desperate crying for help, because, after having dived into the water, the girl for quite a while, did not go up the water. And the two guys tried everything they could to dive to the bottom of the water in order to find and pull her up. James and several of his classmates came to help, and it was only James who had the courage and endurance and succeeded in finding the girl beneath the deep water and pulling her up from the mud. Even though the girl finally could not be saved because of long suffocating, the girl's parents sent a letter of gratitude and praise to Hubei Social Science Academy, where I worked. In 1994, he passed the University Entrance Examination with a pretty high mark of 604 (out of 750); and went to Ocean University, located in Qingdao ( a city in north China, my hometown) where the major he studied is ocean ecology. In his university days, he was away from his parents. In 1998, when he finished university, we, my wife and I, had him immigrated to Canada and he chose a computer program to study in a community college. Consequently, in the spring of 2000, he found his first job as a software developer. It was in the spring of 2003 , he met Hu Yating. The two young persons fell into love with each other at the first sight. In April, James brought back the girl to show us for the first time, and in June, they came to our house, already planned to get married and decided to rent an apartment (in July) to live together. When my wife told them that Yating was still too young to get married and had to complete her studies yet, and that they should be more circumspect in treating marriage, such a major event of life, both of them did not listen to her. So they got married, on October 13, 2003, which day was Hu Yating's birthday. The most direct reason they got married so soon is that they wanted Yating to immigrate sooner, so as to save money in paying her tuition fee (the tuition fee for international student is 5 times of the Canadian citizen). After getting married, before buying their Coquitlam Home in Nov. 2008, they have lived in various places, which are: Grafton street, Burnaby (Jul. 2003--Mar, 2004); our house ( Mar. 2004--Dec. 2004), Boundary Street; (Jan. 2005--Apr. 2006 ), 128 St. Surrey (May 2006--May. 2007); our house (Jun. 2007--Nov. 2008). In general, when they were in difficulties, they both would come to us for help. James was unemployed for a period in 2004, they moved back to our house and we were more than willing to help them by offer free board and food, since my son was a contractor, who was not qualified to enjoy unemployment benefit. James faced a second period of unemployment from Jun. 2008 to Mar. 2009, I offered them $40000 (all my movable savings) to help them tide over their difficulty. Except for those days when they lived together with us, especially after they had the first boy, my wife and I had maintained a schedule to go to their house every weekend, first on Saturdays and Sundays, then, for helping Yating more effectively, on Fridays and Saturdays. Under most cases, we know their status and mood and we are most concerned about their life. And if anything serious happened in their family between the couple, we would know it several days later. Frankly, since the birth of our first grandson Aaron, I, now a 66-year old full-time sessional lecturer in UBC, seldom have one weekend's rest; and my wife, who is one year younger than I, worked even more with the children than myself. Since we were so close to them, we can comment accurately on their family life, because every bit of information here is based on true experience, not made out of speculation and imagination. After their wedding, the young couple really loved each other affectionately. Actually, when they ascertained their mutual relationship as future husband and wife, James, after paying for her debt of 1500 dollars (which she owed to somebody in her direct sale business), immediately started to provide all the expenses to support Hu Yating's studies (as an international student) in SFU, until 2007, when Hu succeeded in getting a two-year certificate of logistics. James loved his wife so dearly that he might get up at midnight to buy her her favorite hamburger or other food. This habit lasted until the spring of 2011. To help her study her course, he used all his energy and strength; for her computer class, she got a full mark (100) due to James' help; and for all other courses which James had never learned, however, she also relied on her husband, sometime challenging his patience. Anyway, until 2006, their first physical conflict, we saw no signs of big problems in their relationship except that. Ever since their marriage, we positioned ourselves as kind parents who respect their independence and private life, who are always ready to help them financially and who are always willing to promote their common happiness. We didn't want to become traditional Chinese parents-in-laws, and so we tried every way we could to help Yating, to let her feel at home and become friends with us, so both my wife and myself have often sent her gifts and also talked with her frequently to know what she thinks and what she wishes; as a result, in most cases, she trusts us and tells us some intimate stories. Financially, since James Mou was a contractor who was not qualified for UI, I offered him help: In 2004 and in 2007-8 we offered our home free for them; in 2009-2010, we had to help them tide over their hardship. For their relationship, whenever quarrel arises, we always side ourselves with Yating, since her parents were not here; and we try as much as we can to "daughter" her, to let her feel that we can always help her, and that we will never show partiality for James. I have a few more words about their 2006 conflict, to make a more complete statement of it. They spent a happy weekend with us, and when Yating was with my wife she told her that James lost his job again. My wife and I were worried about this (as it was not the first time). On that very night, when they had left already for a few hours after supper, at about 10. p.m., Yating suddenly came back alone to our house from their Surrey home, by taxi, telling us that James was arrested because he hit her after having known that she told us he was unemployed (before they came to our house, the couple had decided NOT to tell us this bad news). Yating also said when driving back James blamed her too much, that made her angry; and she did throw a roll of newspaper on his head, and he hit her. The following day my wife and myself drove to Surrey police station, to pick James back. Later, he had to attend an anger-control seminar for more than 10 times. After that incident, their relationship, to our surprise, did not turn for the worse but turn for the better; and at the same time, James's employment situation went to the highest point in his life. James soon found a job and worked very hard. His mind was well-suited to programming, and his boss and colleagues liked him. Also, the headhunting company constantly recommended him to better-paid positions. Although he did not have a computer professional background, his progress in programming made him a considerable success. For some months, his hourly pay reached $60, and he often work more than 10 hours a day. And in the summer of 2008, he signed a second contract before the first expired, and actually held two jobs at the same time. That forced him , apart from finishing a full daytime workload, to frequently work until 3 or 4 o'clock in the morning, after calming their elder son Aaron to sleep. Overworking himself had earned him extra money, but damaged his health, both physically and mentally. From 2006 to 2008, he succeeded in accumulating about $200,000, which became the down payment in buying their Coquitlam Home. Such a big sum of money was earned hour by hour, by himself alone. Throughout this period, I always tried to convince him into believing that he should not go all out for making money, but to no avail. Just as his Pastor friend spoke of him, he is really a workaholic. However, having a big house is the common dream shared by himself and his wife Yating. Throughout the year of 2008, their relationship was smooth and promising, though not without problem. On Feb. 29, 2008 Aaron was born, the whole big family, including two sets of grandparents, surrounded the new life with happiness and hope. The maternal grandparents stayed for two or three months and left, and the young couple with their new baby also left in November. What was most worrying us was that, Yating was again unexpectedly pregnant. However, the young couple both wished to keep the baby, and for keeping the unborn baby, they wanted to have their own house, the sooner the better. And ever since their moving, we had set up a schedule to go to their house every weekend, in order to lend them as much help as possible. With the approaching of the expected date of his wife's childbirth, in April 2009, James hired a nanny for Yating. Then, at their request, Yating's mother Xiao Yanyu came from China to help in the month of June, 2009, the very month starting from which James had his second unemployment of 9 months. However. she only stayed here for about two months. While James was unemployed, James put his time and energy into caring for his growing family. Apart from always calming the elder boy Aaron to sleep, he was responsible for all the major and heavy chores of the family. He was also considerate for his wife and tried to meet her requirements in every way. After the second period of unemployment, he found a job in North Vancouver, a job with only half payment of the previous one but a job more time-consuming and needing a lot of extra hours. After long hours of working (leaving home at 8 a.m., and often coming home after 8 p.m.) an exhausted husband often had to face a frustrated wife, even though he immediately plunged himself into the "fighting". Under this circumstance, quarrel happened more frequently. My wife and I knew this, and tried our best to help: my wife frequently lived at their house for weeks, especially when one boy or when Yating was ill; in summer time when I didn't teach, I also took turn with my wife, to live in their Home (sleep on the sofa in the 2nd floor) for weeks to make it easier for Yating. Every time we went there, we had prepared delicious food and dishes which was enough to feed them for days, we also tried our best to do all kind of family chores, such as cooking, cleaning, babysitting, washing, playing with boys, walking them out, teaching them to say and to sing. And, apart from buying anything the family need at Yating's request, it was my task, to drive Yating out for seeing doctors, for shopping, and for going to some game places, and for anything that she needed me to do and that James could not do at weekends. Yating did try to be a qualified mother and wife for quite a long time. She read books to richen herself, learned new ways to train the boys, followed super nanny's skills to teach them, taught them new holy songs and children's songs, painted for them, told or read stories to them, and enjoyed buying some new toys for the boys with James. However, more often than not, she failed in realizing her plans and got frustrated. The boys always kept her working endlessly and made her sleepless, such that she was verging on a broke down. When she was in better mood, she knew treasuring her boys, but when she was not glad, she often vented her anger on the boys. On the other hand, James was in no better mental status. Lack of sleep and nourishment, overworking on the computer, huge economical pressure, and the tension of marriage relationship all tested his will-power and endurance, and his nerve. Now if only one of them had had more tolerance, things would not have turned as it is now. Yating is a spoiled girl, the only child of her parents, and so is James. Yating complained that James could not help her more and threatened "if you can't reduce pressure for me, I will certainly treat the boys badly, and treat you badly too". James got mad at that and insisted on her treating the boys better. Her emotion became more and more unsteady. Their second physical conflict happened in October, 2010. One day, after work James came home. When he was taking care of the boys, an idea of the programming, for which he had cudgeled his head all day, came to his head. So he immediately opened his laptop and proceeded to type it down. However, the moment the lady saw her husband at his laptop, she came over and broke it with a punch. That caused James jumping and hit her on the face. It was in the following weekend and after we came and saw a blue scar on Yating's face that we found out what happened. Both were not happy, but things for the time being petered out. I told James that a girl who married herself into our family should always be loved, but never be hit like that, I told him that he should not use violence against violence. After that they seemed to still live a normal life. That was the most serious event happened before May 12, 2011. In the following 7 months, as before, we always helped Yating as long and much as possible. Meanwhile, they still enjoyed a lot of happier moments, such as outing, dinning out, family party, games with the boys, singing together or watching video together, including many happy meeting at our house. Up to now we had kept many happy videos and pictures with Yating. We celebrated her birthday on Oct.13, 2010. Then the Chiristmas, New Year Day, Chinese New Year in February, 2011, Aaron's three-year birthday on Feb.28, 2011, and my birthday and James's birthday jointed (Apr.16 and Apr.22, we just chose a weekend between to celebrate the two), all spent together in joyful atmosphere. Their last visit to our house is May 7th, 2011, when we had dinner together happily. I cannot imagine that at that time Yating already had a plan to escape into the women's shelter. The latest family video is about the couple playing an interesting game with the boys; James, with a paper garbage bag covering his head and body, turned round and round singing in chorus with his wife, and all the family roared with laughter. That video was made on about May 9th, 2011. On May 12, Hu Yating entered a women shelter. On the previous evening James, after coming home from work, enjoyed the time of being together with his two infant sons, holding both of them in arms, and watched TV. Yating, coming from another room, immediately got angry with this. She went up to the TV, turned it off abruptly and closed the cabinet with a bang such that the two boys immediately burst out crying. Enraged, James raised his hand, then in an attempt to control himself, he put down his hand. They quarreled for a while, and each calmed down for dinner. On the following morning of May 12, Yating even prepared the lunch bag for Jame before the he went to work. On that evening, however, he found the Home empty; Yating went away with the two boys. We knew it on May 13, when James came to our house alone very dejectedly. In the following 3 weeks, he used all his means he could think of to look for her, but found nothing but the news that she must have been hidden in some women's shelter, which is not accessible. In the 3 weeks, for 3 times he burst into tears when facing us, and my wife also shed tears for missing Yating and boys. This happened all of a sudden. At that time, James was still her legal husband, who was working hard to support his family and had never been separated from his dear wife and boys for more than 12 hours. She did not even communicate with us for one more time, after her last happy chat with us on May 7, 2011, not even for our email to invite her coming home. However, they had family camping on July 7 and July 8. And for this camping, James bought the whole set of equipment, including tents, stoves, comforters, beach chairs, air cushion and so on, for the sole purpose of pleasing Hu Yating, who was very interested in it. They took many pictures and were very delighted to have a good time. The first thing James said to me after return is that, it was very cold at night, his two kids and wife all attached themselves closely to him for warming. At that time, I felt hope for saving their marriage. My comments: Jame in general and in most of his life was a candid, hardworking, responsible, affectionate person. In the last 3 years before he committed the crime, he was under extreme pressure for supporting the family, for caring his boys and for satisfying his wife, he overworked himself both physically and mentally. When he thought that he would in fact lose his boys, his self-control failed him. In our view such an act of violence is out of character for the son we have known. Huaichuan Mou Dai Zhong (parents of James Mou)